One thing I’ve learned is that if you don’t trust in yourself, why should others? Really.
I believe that we all have an internal compass – our intuition if you will. Sometimes we listen to it and sometimes we don’t. I have learned the more I listen to mine, the better life is.
For years I supressed my intuition. I thought listening to it would mark me as crazy or the people around me would look down on me for listening to the voice in my gut. (yep, my intuition speaks to me through my gut more often than my heart or my head). I just KNOW when things are right or when they are wrong.
Sometimes I didn’t listen to my intuition and KNEW things weren’t right. But I did them anyway. Maybe to make a popular decision. Maybe because I didn’t want to rock the boat. Maybe because it’s what I felt ‘society’ said I should do. Getting married was one of those things. I got married because it was what people do. I was told my eggs were getting old and that I needed to settle down. So I met a boy and fell in love and got married. Even though I didn’t really want to get married. And even though my gut said it wasn’t really right.
I threw all my energy into our marriage. I tried to be the perfect wife. I tried to be the perfect mother. I ran the local primary school parent’s association. I was the School Board Chair. I worked full-time and baked cookies besides. I stayed up late wrapping Christmas presents. I tried to be all the right things to all the right people.
Except somewhere along the way, I stopped trusting in myself and listening to my gut. And I stopped being the right thing for me.
Luckily, I came to my senses.
I woke up.
I realised that I didn’t want to be 50 and living a life where I wasn’t true to myself. I ask my children to be true to themselves. If I ask this of them, how could I not be true to myself and trust myself?
So I walked out of my ‘perfect’ life. I took a huge leap of faith.
And you know what I found? That my intuition was still there waiting for me. Louder and bolshier than ever. And sometimes you have to trust what is in your gut (or in your heart or in your head).
If you don’t trust yourself, who will???