Why is it that the things we think we want most in life so often elude us? Whether that’s the perfect job, the perfect life partner, the perfect house – what’s the thing in your life that you continually search for?
For me, it’s been finding someone to be my life partner who believes in me. I spent many years and searched a lot of places on this planet to find that person who completes me.
I used to wonder if my expectations were too high. So in my 20s, after most of my friends had married and started having families, I found a guy who met a lot of my criteria. He was a friend to me when I needed one, he was fun and loved to travel as much as me. He was kind and considerate and didn’t leave his wet towels on the floor (which was a bonus). In a lot of ways, he was perfect but in other ways, he wasn’t. He didn’t communicate with me or understand my emotional side at all (he’s a scientist – full of logic but not a lot of emotional compassion). But they say you can’t have it all, so I decided that if I wanted to get married and have a family, he was probably my best shot.
Over the next twenty years, we had a lot of amazing life experiences together, but there was always something missing for me in our relationship.
It’s taken me leaving our marriage and spending time learning about myself through a variety of methods (therapy, journal writing, long walks, meditation, etc) for me to realise that the problem wasn’t all him, it was really me.
A perfect partner doesn’t really exist.
Once I looked inside myself and sat in the dark that is my mind and soul, I learned that I don’t need someone else to complete me. I just need me. I need me to believe in myself and know that I am enough.
I don’t need to look externally for anything to complete me. Not a man. Not a new job. Not a new house. Not a better car. Just me. I believe in me.