The first step

Today is the first of October. All around me here in Australia are signs of Spring while my family and friends in the northern hemisphere are starting to see the signs of autumn.

Same date, different point in a cycle.

For some of us, this cycle of seasons is just starting. The trees begin to bud and blossom; the tomato plants in my garden can sit out at night without worry of frost. Their seedlings hold the promise of juicy, big tomatoes fresh from the garden in a few months time.

Of course, in the northern hemisphere, the leaves are beginning to turn vibrant colours, the temperatures are dropping and people and animals will use this month to harvest and prepare for the long winter months ahead.

Springtime is the time of new beginnings. Autumn feels like it is heading to endings.

Beginnings and endings. Endings and beginnings. You have to have one, to have the other. And all of life is constantly somewhere on a point between one or the other.

I feel like I’ve had a lot of endings lately in my life. And now it feels like some beginnings are emerging, coincidentally at Springtime.

I recently returned from a trip to the US with my daughters. On our return, we were notified that our application for Australian Citizenship has been approved. It feels like a significant beginning despite having lived here for the past 15 years. We aren’t official until we have our ceremony in coming weeks, but there’s still something about knowing that I’ve been approved that feels good. It’s been a long journey. I first stepped foot in Australia to live more than 26 years ago and fell in love with the country and its’ people. But for a number of reasons too long to go into here, I only applied for citizenship recently.

I’ve also started selling my artworks at a local market. After years of living on a corporate level salary, the life of an artist can be difficult. But it’s early days still and I remain hopeful that this new part of my life that brings me so much joy to create will bring joy to the people who buy my art.

It’s scary starting out with new beginnings at any time in your life, but I think that fear is magnified as you get older. I’ve had to fight my fears to start over again and again in my life. And my life right now at 50 doesn’t look at all the way I thought it would when I was younger. But for the most part, I’m happy with it. In almost every way, it’s better than I expected. I live a life I love, surrounded by people I love, doing things I love. I’m true to myself, continuing to explore life and having fun whilst doing so.

Oddly, my life seems to scare other people and give many people an opportunity to cast judgements on me and my choices. This perplexes me. I realise my life doesn’t suit everyone, but I’m not trying to convert or change anyone else.

A friend of mine recently explained to me that my life reminds others that they can make choices in their own lives, but that most people are too scared to try something new so they follow the status quo.

To me, that’s sad but I don’t have time to worry about what others think. There’s still a lot of things I want to do before my life is over. Some of them scare the shit out of me, but I know I have to try. All I need to do is take the first step and not worry about the end point. Somehow life will get me there.

For years I’ve wanted to write a book, but I get scared by the end point. So I’ve decided to take part in Blogtober this month to see whether I have what it takes to make myself write each and every day. I’m going to write for me, for pleasure, to exercise my brain and my writing muscle. It’s a first step. It might work, it might not. But I won’t know until I try.

If you google Blogtober, you get many lists of suggestions for blog posts including fashion ideas, food ideas, even writing each day about something to do with pumpkin spice! I won’t be doing that, let me tell you. I’m going to be a bit more free-wheeling, writing about my recent travels, my observations and who knows, maybe some other beginnings and endings stories too.

I hope you will join me as I begin this new project and enjoy reading along. If you have a topic you’d like me to write about, put it in the comments below.

And I hope wherever you are in the world, you can take a moment today to reflect on where you are in your own life cycle. Are you in a season of beginnings or endings? What’s happening in the greater world around you? And is there something you’d like to try but have been too scared? What’s holding you back? What’s the first step you could take? I’m interested, if you wish to share.

Xx