Playing favourites

If you’ve been following along with my posts this Blogtober and reading each one for the past 13 days you’ll know that my life is a bit crazy at the moment.

A bit crazy.

That’s an understatement.

So much is going on at the moment that sometimes I think my head might just explode. As one friend said to me last night, “You’ve had a hell of a week.”

I have. I really have.

Sometimes when everything in my life collides like this I feel totally overwhelmed. I wrote about that a few days ago.

This morning I woke up and knew I had to do something. But I wasn’t really sure what. So I asked for some help from the Universe. I was feeling alone. And overwhelmed. I felt like I didn’t really know where to start, or where to turn or what to do. I needed some help.

It’s funny being single after being in a relationship for more than 20 years. When you are in a relationship you have someone to count on, someone to talk to, to take into consideration when you are planning the kinds of life moves that I’m planning. The last time I moved continents, my husband and I planned the move together. This time I have to make decisions for myself.

There’s a freedom in making decisions for yourself. I don’t have to take a lot of other people into consideration, but I also don’t have anyone to bounce ideas off of and discuss the pros and cons. It’s just me. And sometimes that can be a lonely place.

This morning it felt particularly lonely. And I was feeling kind of sorry for myself that I didn’t have a life partner to talk to about things. But I got up and started my day anyway, knowing I had a lot to get on with.

The first thing I did was make a coffee and look at my phone. Overnight I had texts come in from a couple of friends who are overseas. They both made positive comments about last night’s blog post and wished me well for the day.

Then my eldest daughter gave me a pep talk before heading out the door to work.

Next I had a call from my older ‘sister’ in Seattle who checked in with me to see how I was feeling and handling things. She listened patiently and then reminded me of all the ways the Universe has looked after me in the past few years. She helped restore my faith.

Next I heard from my parents. Then other friends called. It was uncanny. By the end of the day, I had heard from from each and every person who appears in ‘My Favourites’ list on my phone (barring my friend who is in hospital at the moment and who has even more going on in her life than I do in mine).

By the time it got to 5pm tonight, I realised what was happening. The Universe had heard my plea for help and somehow made sure that many of the people who are closest to me, no matter where they are on the planet, got in touch with me. Each of them helped me in their own way today.

One of them this evening sent me this reminder: “A bird sitting in a tree is never afraid of the branch breaking, because her trust is not in the branch but on her own wings. Always believe in yourself.”

It was exactly the encouragement I needed. And tonight I’m feeling calmer and more relaxed about things than I have at any time in the past two weeks even though the amount of what I have to do is exactly the same as it was this morning when I woke up. The worries are the same, but somehow are weighing me down less.

A couple of years ago I made a conscious decision to surround myself with people who love and support me. I made a choice to rid my life of those who were negative and dragging me down. My inner circle is smaller now and those who are part of it are there for me when I need them. Today I needed them all and they showed up for me.

Normally I hate to play favourites, but today it just felt right.

(I hear you wondering about the photo of lilacs at the top of this post? Yep, they are one of my favourites too and this photo was taken in the garden of another person on ‘My Favourites’ list. :-))

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