Moving forward

I haven’t written any blog posts for almost two months. It’s been a time of introspection for me – and when I haven’t been deep in contemplation, I’ve been deep in moving boxes.

Yes, I moved house.

My little cottage which has been so perfect for me and my girls for the past two years all of a sudden started feeling small and less than perfect. I had turned the cottage into a bit of a cocoon and had retreated there for two years to heal my relationship with myself and to strengthen my relationships with my daughters. It was a safe, cozy place. I didn’t have many visitors but the ones who came, all talked about how cozy the cottage was and how it fit me perfectly. It did at that time.

But recently I’ve been venturing out more and feeling more like putting myself back into the world. Step by step. And that coincided with my landlords deciding to do some renovations on the cottage. The girls and I didn’t want to stay there during the renovations, so we decided to move.

We sat down and made a list of all of the things we wanted the new house to have – 3 bedrooms, space to entertain, a newly remodelled bathroom, a separate shower, a larger kitchen, central heating, big garden for Reg…the list went on. I put a maximum price on what I was willing to pay and gave it up to the Universe. The Universe had delivered the cottage to us. I was confident that it would find us a new house too.

Three weeks passed. Nothing. No houses came our way, but I wasn’t looking actively either. I just got out of the way and figured when the time was right, the right house would come along. I didn’t stress about it. It just felt right to trust.

Then one Friday, I ran into a friend walking his dog in our neighbourhood. He is not a big believer in the Universe, but something told me to ask him if he knew of anything available to rent. He asked what we were looking for and said he’d keep his eyes and ears open but didn’t know of anything at that moment. He teased me about believing in the Universe and asked if he was the Universe…I smiled and said, ‘maybe’.

I went home feeling like I’d had the conversation with the person I needed to. Now I just needed to let go.

That evening I received a text from my dog walking friend. He was out to dinner with old friends he hadn’t seen in ages. They had just finished renovating their 3 bedroom, dog-friendly house and garden and were now looking for tenants! His text made me laugh. He actually mentioned the Universe in it!

The girls and I inspected the house the next day and found it had everything that we had asked for, plus more! There was only one thing on our list that it didn’t have – it wasn’t in the suburb we wanted. But it is in a beautiful suburb and in a wonderful street. And it turns out it is only a two minute walk for the girls in the morning to catch direct buses to both of their schools. After two years of having to change buses to get their schools, they were thrilled. So in all reality, it’s better than we asked for.

The house is lovely. We moved in a couple of weeks ago and are already feeling settled. Reg loves the big back garden. We love the house. But the best bit is our landlords – turns out they are big Universe believers too and had asked for the right tenants to come along. They wanted someone they can be friends with and the girls and I are happy to be friends as well as tenants. So both parties feel it was meant to be.

Life doesn’t have to be hard. So often we make it that way because we get in the way. We worry and forget to trust that life actually loves us and wants what’s best.

The house feels like a new beginning for me. It has spurred me on to paint a couple of new canvases and earlier this week I applied for a job that I saw advertised that spoke to me. I’m not sure I’ll get the job, or even get an interview, but I loved that I finally felt ready to emerge from the cocoon and take a chance. I’ve updated my CV and my LinkedIn account and written answers to the selection criteria. And then I sent it off with love and light and let it go. If it’s meant to be, it will happen. And who knows who I might meet through it?? Or maybe it was just a spur to get me moving – to get my CV updated and get me thinking about working again so that I’m ready for the next job that comes along.

I don’t know, but I’m happy to get out of my own way, just be in the flow and see where the current takes me. It’s always the right place, at the right time.